There are three treasures
which I embrace;
the first is to be kind;
the second is to be simple;
the third is to not put one’s own importance
first in the world.
Because kindness and compassion
produce courage,
simplicity can be broadened
to contain the world.
By not putting your own importance first,
you will not impede the natural growth of anything in the universe.
If a person endeavors to be brave without first being kind,
ambitious, without first simplifying his life,
an authority, without first understanding sacrifice;
he cannot evolve
and therefore must fail.
Kindness can win a war.
Kindness can defend a fortress.
Kindness will invite the corresponding energy of
kindness from all divine beings
who support and protect.
Tao Te Ching
Lao Tsu
67
In researching the history and background of MMA fighters, I've recently noticed something that I find rather disturbing. I'm not sure why this is exactly, but at the upper levels of the fight game, it seems as though many competitors no longer feel the need to show gratitude, or even MENTION the names of the instructors, academies, and mentors, who helped them along the road to fame and success. Apparently these MMA icons feel that to admit that they did not, in fact, emerge fully formed from the head of Zeus (or Aries as the case may be...) would be to admit some sort of weakness or human failing on their part. They would have us believe them to some kind of larger-than-life, super-heroes, immune to the failings, fumblings, and foibles that plague every novice's first athletic endeavors. According to some of these websites I've been reading, these guys were just SOOOO naturally talented that they simply... figured everything out for themselves....
BULLSHIT.
I don't care HOW 'gifted' or 'naturally talented' an athlete is, NO ONE evolves in a void. Every single legendary fighter out there, from Bruce Lee, to Bas Rutten, to Muhammed Ali - Rickson, Royce, AND even Rorion Gracie, Frank Shamrock, BJ Penn, Mat Serra - ALL of them got to the level of mastery they did because someone out there with skill, knowledge, intelligence, dedication, and compassion, BELIEVED in them enough to invest their time and energy setting that fighter's feet on the road to glory. It's true that at some point in a martial artist's career, usually after years and years and years of hard work and study under the guidance of a Master, if he so chooses, he will be able to take what he's learned in class and branch out on his own in order to further his own unique style and training philosophy. When a martial artist does this, and establishes his own academy/team, thus putting himself on the road to achieving his own status as a 'Master', it is A beginning; but it is not THE beginning. Every World Champion BJJ black belt was a gawky and awkward white belt once upon a time, and the toughest guy who ever lived took his share of punches and humiliation in the ring. They didn't win every tournament they ever competed in either. They lost sometimes too, same as you. If they hadn't, they would have never learned anything; they would have never gotten any better than they were on their first day of training.
I mention this because the lack of gratitude that those in the top ranks of MMA often show for their instructors, I believe lies at the root of the most pervasive problem in the MA world today. Most of the ugly, petty, bitter, political, rivalries so common among BJJ and MMA fighters and academies are about one central issue; respect and the lack thereof. This is something that starts with those at the top of the food chain. When the head of an academy fails to be humble and refuses to show appreciation for his own teachers, he unwittingly gives an unspoken lesson to the students who train under him. When instead he acknowledges the debit of honor and gratitude he owes to those who molded him; to those who seeded in him a portion of their souls so that his natural gifts could bear fruit , flower, and in turn nourish the lives of others; well....they learn something from that too.
Over the years, I've heard countless complaints by trainers and coaches, bewailing the disloyalty and ingratitude of students who became champions under their tutelage, before leaving the academy in order to go into competition with the teacher who made them great in the first place. It happens ALL THE TIME. As an instructor myself, I understand how hard it is when that happens, and I sympathize. When all of the knowledge, time, and energy that you've devoted to a student's training is unappreciated or taken for granted, it can be incredibly frustrating. The thing is, if you want students to honor and respect you as their instructor; to one day give you credit for all the love, energy, time, and attention you've put into making them champions; you need to first teach them how. You do this by honoring both the people who train under you, as well as those who put your own feet on the road to mastery. If you, as an instructor, don't sow the seeds of integrity into the fertile soil of a novitiate's mind, how can you expect to reap the harvest of your labour once your champion white or belt, matures into an 'expert'? Students grow according to what their teachers invest in their education. However, a sensei will never be able to receive anything from his disciple that he himself hasn't put there in the first place. Whether it be skill, technical understanding, integrity, respect, love, joy, compassion, humility, confidence- or any of their opposites - if it's not put there by a more experienced mentor who takes the responsibility for a student's overall growth and development upon himself, where is that trait going to come from?
Marcello Montiero, a BJJ black belt under Master Ricardo de la Riva, once gave me some very excellent advice. 'As a coach, it your job to make your students better than you are. If you can't do that, then you shouldn't teach. If an instructor is unwilling to see the person he's coaching surpass his own level of skill and expertise, then instead of having a student, he will have created an enemy.' Although I don't know all the stories behind every fighter out there, I think Montiero's insight was valid. Most of us who train competitively, are driven by the desire to be 'The BEST'. We are FIGHTERS after all... We all tend to be very aware of each fighter's tentative standing in the MA hierarchy, and none of us like the idea of having our authority and/or expertise threatened or up-staged by another - ESPECIALLY not by one of our own. When a student achieves great personal success, it's common for his instructor to feel a little resentful, jealous, or even threatened by his protege's sudden popularity (especially if the instructor himself never felt truly recognized or appreciated). When this happens, a victorious fighter's beloved mentor can, in the blink of an eye, turn into a real vindictive asshole. This is a tragic, but very common scenario in martial arts, and I think that it's because of this dynamic that many of those at the top of the MA world have turned their backs on the people who put them there. Many champions feel that because the trust they put in their trainer was betrayed by his poor treatment of them once they started to become successful, that they're justified in doing so. They're not entirely wrong...When someone doesn't respect you, you have two choices - you either disrespect them, and reject their opinion of you; or you disrespect yourself by honoring them and their beliefs. If a coach becomes so jealous of an athlete's success that he actually attempts sabotage his efforts, then sometimes a student really has no other choice but to respectfully end the relationship.
Breaking away from one's mentor is one of the most painful things a fighter can endure. A broken bone is nothing in comparison to a broken heart. (It's not too much fun for the teacher either by the way....) In a very real way, an athlete's team is his family . Your coach is the person who brought the person you are now, into the world. It was him that gave you life and substance in your incarnation as a martial artist. Like it or not, the art and skill that lives and grows within you was called to life by his energy. Through the training he gave you, you willingly took in a part of his soul and by doing so, forever made it part of your own. Nothing to be done about it. No matter how much of a jerk he may be, without your teacher, and your teacher's teachers, the person you are at this moment couldn't exist. If you're going to honor yourself, you have to honor your teachers.You don't have to like them, you don't have to trust them, you don't have to venerate them...but you DO have to ACKNOWLEDGE them, and show GRATITUDE for everything they gave you.
Unless we learn humility and begin to show our gratitude and respect for those who came before us, MMA and BJJ will never evolve. Karate, Tai Quon Do, Akido, and other martial arts have been able to gain the kind of popularity they've achieved largely because the energies of those involved weren't wasted on petty squabbling. In reality, NO ONE is THE BEST at anything, all the time. EVER.
No matter how skilled or talented, or knowledgeable you may be, someone, someday, is going to knock you off your pedestal. Deal with it. Losing a match doesn't take anything away from a fighter's worth, and admissions of failure or ignorance don't negate past accomplishments. Quite the opposite. A man who is willing to take a chance on failure will eventually be able to grow to true greatness. Every great master was once a student, every champion has lost a tournament, every person in the cage who gets his hand raised in victory, once got his ass handed to him on the mats. Who we are now is founded on who we were then. There's no shame in bowing one's head in homage to those who have given us a leg-up on our journey. No matter what academy your opponent might come from, no matter what person spats you may have had in the past, in actuality we're all on the same team. The extent of our sport's long-term success will depend on cooperation between academies, and that depends on the respect we show for one another as fighters, teachers, and martial artists. Admitting to yourself and others that, there are other instructors out there who know things you don't (no matter how skilled or experienced you happen to be ), is a good way of doing that. You don't need to be an expert at everything in order to be considered a 'worthy authority figure'. As a matter of fact, admitting ignorance is the only way a person can grow to become even better than they were previously. Modesty is the hallmark of a true champion.
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